I came home from somewhere yesterday and found that Tom Monaghan, the founder of the Domino's Pizza empire, had left a message on our phone urging us to vote for Mitt Romney in Tuesday's presidential primary in Michigan. OF COURSE Tom was not sitting at his desk with an open phonebook in front of him while he called. OF COURSE it was one of those hated robocalls, which featured an even more distasteful fembot starting out the message by exhorting me to please hold while Monaghan takes the line. I guess even Robots have Secretaries these days.
There's been a lot of chatter about how the pollsters were unable to predict the outcomes of the Iowa caucuses and the New Hampshire primaries. Here in Michigan, I've been reading conflicting reports on whether John McCain is ahead of Mitt Romney in the Republican primary, while everyone is showing that Mike Huckabee is running a respectable third. Hillary Clinton leads by a comfortable margin, which is understandable seeing as how she's the only serious Democratic candidate to throw her hat into our state.
This is the most wide-open presidential race that I can remember. I don't like having such an early primary in Michigan because I like to wait until a lot more candidates have dropped out before I have to cast any ballots. Since all of this homework is giving me a headache, I decided to use one of those presidential calculators at
http://www.vajoe.com/candidate_calculator.html. I'm sure it did a wonderful job of matching me up with a candidate, but it was not much of a practical help since it picked out Senator Joe Biden as my top choice, followed by four other Democrats. So much for my Moderate Republican label.
No wonder pollsters are having such problems picking out the primary winners. If every voter was like me, they'd have to qualify all of their poll results with a margin of error of plus or minus 50 percentage points! I hope I'm a typical voter, but I have no way of knowing. For better or worse, this is how I pick my candidates.
First, I focus on my personal hot-button issues. (I recognize that what is important to me might not be the most important issue facing the nation, but I figure what I feel in my heart should count for at least a little something.) After I identify my hot-button issues, I identify the candidates who agree with my positions, then find out these people are total crooks whom I would not even vote into office as city dogcatchers. Then I have to leave my heart behind and identify what I think are the most important issues facing our nation. When I find the candidates who share my views on these important issues, I find that I cannot picture them on the world scene, or I cannot imagine them being able to lead the nation during any sort of time of crisis.
My next elimination round leaves me trying to match myself with a candidate who even agrees with me on what constitutes an important issue. It's too bad that by this time I've found a candidate in whom I disagree with about 85% of his or her beliefs.
Finally, I have to evaluate if I'm voting FOR a candidate or voting AGAINST a candidate. I don't like to play games like this, and I think it's unpatriotic to do something like purposefully vote for a bad candidate just to mess up the other political party. When the time comes, we need to search our consciences and vote for whoever we believe is the best person for the job.
Any pollster who contacts me will have no way of knowing where I'm at in this candidate-picking process. I shudder to think that whatever ephemeral thought I'm thinking at a particular moment supposedly represents a thousand other voters. As I'm typing this, John McCain, Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee representatives robocalled me and asked me who I was voting for in the primaries. Being annoyed, since A) I hate robocalls and B) I especially hate being interrupted by robots three times during a 30-minute period, I chose the two lamest candidates I could think of as my top presidential choices.
I'm afraid I will not divulge who I'm leaning towards right now. Tuesday is still a long ways off, and I can change my mind a million times before then. But I will say that if even a fraction of the voters have the same doubts I have, no one could possibly predict a primary winner until the exit polls begin.